


Then and Now

by orphan_account



Category: Princess Tutu
Genre: Bisexuality, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow-up to A Good Outcome. Ahiru's discovery in Fakir's room leads to some reminiscing and frank discussion about the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then and Now

Like magic, it happened – nearly the instant they stepped through the door, the very second, it seemed, after Fakir closed it behind them, something in the nearly-black sky above seemed to break and rain poured down like a waterfall. A few raindrops here and there had sprinkled on their faces as they walked home, but nothing like this. It slithered down the window in thick rivulets and made a pleasant noise against the roof over their heads and on the cobblestone streets outside. Just that morning the sun had been shining on them as they walked to school, but the day had grown progressively darker as it went on, culminating in this.

"Wow…" Ahiru hung up her coat and scarf before hurrying to the window and pressing her face to it so she could better watch the rain pour down. "We got home just in time."

"Yeah." Fakir came up behind her and kissed the top of her head. "Although you probably would've been fine even if we'd been caught in it."

"Huh?" Ahiru turned to look at him. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, they say water just rolls off a duck's back…"

He looked so serious that anyone who didn't know him well would've assumed he _was_ serious. But Ahiru knew him better than anyone, and so she knew it was one of his strange little jokes that he made from time to time. She giggled, which made him smile too. "Oh, Fakir, you're so silly!"

"Heh." He laughed, and then leaned down to kiss her. Ahiru stood up on her toes to meet him, and sighed as their lips touched. The storm outside made an oddly romantic backdrop as they kissed each other, or at least it did until a flash of lightning lit up the darkness. A small rumble of thunder soon followed, and Ahiru shuddered and pressed closer to Fakir. He broke off the kiss as he felt her tremble, and touched her cheek. "Will you be all right alone while I shower? I can wait till the rain dies down."

"No, that's okay." Ahiru shook her head. "Thanks for offering, but I think I'll be fine. I – I'll wait in your room, though, if you don't mind. Maybe it sounds weird but I'd be more comfortable alone in there than alone in my room, you know?"

"I don't mind." He stroked her cheek a little with his thumb, and then took her hand in his. She smiled, and together they made their way upstairs. They parted at his room, with him giving her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go and heading into the bathroom. Ahiru watched him walk away; it was tempting to hurry in there and join him, but she made herself walk away and into his room.

She made a beeline for his bedside lamp, wanting to illuminate the dark room, and then sat down on the bed. No sooner had she sat down, however, than she leapt back up and drew the curtains. They wouldn't completely block out the lightning flashes, but it was better than leaving them open. Watching rain on its own was soothing, but not when it was accompanied by loud noises.

Ahiru couldn't help but smile, though, as she sat on the bed and thought back to the storms that had happened during her days as a duck. Fakir had been so good to her then too, letting her swim around in the sink and putting on music to drown out the thunderclaps, sometimes even singing along to it. Other times he'd just hold her close, and she'd press her head to his chest and listen to his heartbeat, which always calmed her down. Later, when she'd gotten a chance to read his books on ducks, she'd found that that was supposed to be calming for ducks in general and that the way he held her was actually a recommended method of holding ducklings, which explained why it worked so well on her. Of course, being held by Fakir in any way always made her feel good.

The thunder rumbled again, and she shuddered even as she sprang back up from the bed once more. She couldn't just sit here quietly while she waited, she needed something to do that would make some noise to drown out the sound, and it was boring to just sit anyway. It was too late to join Fakir in the shower, and she didn't want to go to her room or down to the forge, so she'd have to find something here. Her eyes fell on a partially open box – the last one that still needed unpacking after all the rest had been taken away to help make room for his bigger bed – and her expression brightened. She could help him a little by taking stuff out, it had been sitting here untouched for ages and she was curious about what kind of stuff was in there anyway. She didn't think he'd mind, since he didn't even remember what was in there anyway and had said that she was welcome to go through it with him some weekend. A little head start would probably be appreciated.

She pulled the box over so she could still sit on the bed while she sorted through it; it surprisingly wasn't that heavy, and was easy to move. Lifting the lid revealed a tangled and somewhat intimidating mess, of stacked papers, a few old notebooks – likely with homework or school notes inside, or maybe childhood stories written before he'd repressed the knowledge of his powers and stopped writing – and a lot of miscellaneous objects, most of which looked like old toys, though there were other things in there too. She chose a dusty notebook to look at first, sneezing as some of the dust got into her nose, and opened it up. On the first page, writing that was a little childish yet still very recognizable in a way that made her heart swell with affection declared it property of Fakir. He'd always had such nice handwriting, it seemed like. It would be easy to assume that someone like him would have messy, illegible writing, but strangely the opposite was true. Her heart fluttered as she recalled the special thrill she'd felt when she'd opened up the first love letter he'd ever written her, and seen her name in that pretty handwriting. The words that followed had been shy and awkward, but sweet nonetheless, and she still reread it from time to time.

To her disappointment, however, flipping through the rest of that notebook produced only blank pages. The second one she picked up was the same, and the third was roughly half-full of math problems for class, some of which she immediately recognized as being completed incorrectly. The stack of papers, too, proved to be mostly composed of old Academy assignments, some history, some math, an essay on the themes present in Swan Lake, various other things… all except for the one at the bottom. He wasn't in the art division, so she doubted this had ever been seen by anyone. Maybe it'd gotten mixed up in the school work by accident? Hard to say. But was it interesting all the same.

It wasn't particularly good –poorly and childishly drawn, with mistakes everywhere and coloring that strayed outside the lines – but the subject was easily recognizable all the same. He'd drawn a picture of Mytho brandishing a sword in some kind of generic field, and over on the side was a larger image of just his smiling face. It was silly, and she couldn't help but smile. Ahiru set it aside on the bed, and returned to looking through the rest of the items.

She found children's toys suited to toddlers, old school reports, a worn-out pair of ballet slippers – perhaps his first pair from when he'd first started dancing, they were a lot smaller than his current ones – and an old book atop a frayed and faded blanket that had gone a bit threadbare round the edges. Flipping through the book revealed that a place was marked in it still, close to maybe a third of the way through, with a bookmark that had incurred some water damage at some point. Maybe he'd been rereading it and stopped for some reason and never went back? Ahiru found herself curious as to why, though she doubted he'd remember the reasons unless they were memorably horrible, and she really didn't want to stir up painful recollections for him again. She _hoped_ the real reason was just something banal and ordinary.

A cheerier discovery that would take her mind off such sad thoughts awaited her, however. Pulling aside the blanket, Ahiru gasped in surprise as she saw what lay beneath: an old, slightly battered stuffed animal that had clearly seen better days, but had obviously been very loved by its owner. That Fakir had had one to hug when he was little wasn't the surprise that made her gasp, though. It was that this particular plush animal was a duck. A little yellow duck, in fact. It was a little bit faded, but still bright, and had a cute face with blue eyes. Her hands trembling slightly, Ahiru reached down and picked up the little duck, her thoughts traveling back to the first time Fakir had hugged her that night she'd seen him crying, not knowing who she really was. It somehow made more sense now that she'd found _this_ – it looked like he'd always found comfort in ducks. It could even be that he'd wanted for ages to hug a real one, but hadn't gotten the chance to until then. The thought of Fakir being happy that he'd finally gotten to hug a real, live duck and having _been_ that duck made her feel giggly and warm inside.

She still had the duck on her lap when Fakir walked back in, her attention so focused on peering into the box that she didn't hear his footsteps. He opened his mouth to say something to her, but his train of thought instantly derailed when he saw his old stuffed animal in her hands. Several seconds of stunned staring passed before he finally found his voice. "Ahiru, what… what are you…"

"O-oh! F-Fakir, I…" Ahiru looked up, and her breath caught in her throat as she saw him standing there, clad only in a pair of boxers with a blush beginning on his face. "I, um… I needed something to do so I thought I'd help you sort this stuff like we've been planning to… is it not okay?"

"No… no, it's…" Fakir stared at the duck in her hands a little more, and then looked up at her worried expression. "It's fine, I just… I wasn't expecting…" He exhaled. "I… well, I didn't _forget_ that I'd put that there, but I thought… I don't know… it was just a surprise to walk in and see you with it."

"So it _was_ yours when you were little?" Ahiru asked.

Fakir nodded."Yeah. It was a birthday present. My parents asked me what I wanted, and I said a duck, so they got me that, not realizing that I meant a real one." Remembering that almost made him want to laugh – the way he'd imagined keeping a duck back then was almost identical to the way things had been when Ahiru lived here as a duck. He hadn't thought about that in _years,_ so he hadn't been able to compare childish daydreams with recent reality till now. "But it still made me happy."

"Oh." The warmth and giggliness from before coursed through her again. "So – so you loved ducks back then?"

"Yeah." He sat down on the bed beside her, and his hand brushed hers when he reached out to touch the stuffed duckling. "Always have. Always will." He laid his hand fully over hers and squeezed it.

"Eeee… Fakir…" She let out her happy giggles now, and he smiled. "Oh, and – and I found this too." She set the duck down on her lap and held up the picture of Mytho. "Did – did you draw this?"

"Ugh." Fakir winced. "Yeah. I did."

"Awwww, I think it's cute!" Ahiru giggled. "Did you do any other pictures of him?"

"No." Fakir shook his head. "I hated that one too much. I remember I was mad because I didn't think I'd made him look handsome enough. I would've thrown it away, except… Raetsel wanted me to keep it, she liked it, and I couldn't explain to her why I thought it was awful. I somehow just knew that I shouldn't say something like that out loud." He sighed. "I wonder, though… I wonder if she ever suspected anyway."

"I don't know. She's never said anything when I've talked to her." Ahiru shrugged and set the picture down. "Oh, um, and I found these old notebooks too… but two of them are blank. What were they gonna be? Do you remember?"

"Let me see." Ahiru retrieved the two blank ones, and he looked at them. "Hmmm. I'm… not sure."

"Maybe a diary you never started?" Ahiru scratched her head. " _Did_ you ever keep a diary?"

"No." He shook his head again. "Sometimes I wanted to, because it would've been nice to write some things down to get them out, but I was always too worried about other people finding and reading them. So I never did."

"Things like your feelings for Mytho?" she guessed. Fakir nodded.

"Yeah. It might have helped me to write things down, because I was so confused back then about what I really felt for him, and it's only recently that I've even started trying to figure it all out... maybe it would've been good for me to have that outlet. But, again, I was too afraid that someone would find it and read what I wrote. Too afraid of what they'd think of me if they knew." He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Fakir…" She reached out and took his hand, and squeezed it.

"You know… one time, when I went out looking for him when he'd disappeared from our dorm room, I found him with Rue. And before they saw me, I heard her say something I never forgot." He opened his eyes and looked down at their joined hands. "She told him to tell her he loved her. And he did. In that flat, empty voice of his, he said 'I love you' to her."

"I once saw that happen too." Ahiru rubbed his hand with her thumb. "I felt so embarrassed to have overheard it, and then I pictured him saying it to _me_ , and I got all giggly and silly." She looked up at Fakir's face. "It didn't have that effect on you, though, did it?"

"No." Shame curled through him. "It made me feel… weird. Sick, even, in a way I know now must've been jealousy. I didn't let on that I'd eavesdropped on them, but later that night I was tempted to make him say it to me too. I knew he would've – he did basically whatever we told him to back then without question, because he didn't have the capacity to question it. And I almost did, it was on the tip of my tongue. But I didn't. I wish I could say it was because I knew it was wrong to manipulate and control him like that, but I can't, because I was still horrible back then. No, I held back only because I knew he wouldn't have meant it. It wouldn't have been the real affection I hated myself for craving from him, and I felt so hollow just thinking about it, even without hearing the lie fall from his lips."

"I think Rue must've known that too," Ahiru said quietly. "Deep down, she must've. But… it was all she had, so she still wanted it. Cause unlike you she didn't have anyone that cared about her yet."

"Yeah… I wouldn't doubt it." Fakir let his breath out. "I don't blame her. I know it was different for her, and that's why she asked him for that and I didn't, because I already _did_ know what it was like to be loved. Not romantically, true, but in general. So I knew the difference and didn't want the imitation. And not just that, but I also knew… I knew that even if he _did_ have a heart to feel affection with, he wouldn't have felt it for me, not like that. He'd never want me the way I wanted him. Because fairy tale princes don't marry knights. Princesses and peasant girls, yes, but not knights."

"Did someone tell you that?" She knew how happy he was with her now, and that his relationship with Mytho could never have been equal or healthy anyway, but her heart ached for him all the same. She didn't think anyone should be made to feel bad for being attracted to the same gender, because there wasn't anything wrong with that. He had plenty to be ashamed of from those days, but simply feeling attraction for another guy wasn't one of them. "That's mean…"

"No. They didn't have to. That's just how it was in all the books and fairy tales I got to read: the prince always ended up with a princess. Or some commoner who got lucky. It varied only in that way, no matter what it was always a girl, never one of his knights." It wasn't the only thing that had made him feel weird and wrong for being attracted to other men, but it had certainly played a part. To be able to discuss these things so freely with Ahiru after years of bottling them up, to know that she wasn't bothered and would never judge him… there were no words that could adequately express how good and _freeing_ that felt. "So I knew I didn't have a chance with him no matter what, even if he got his heart back, even if I lived through that." He shivered, and for a brief moment the birthmark on his chest seemed, not for the first time, like something he could _feel_ on himself, rather than just being vaguely aware of its presence. It would always be there, like a scar left on him by Drosselmeyer's story, reminding him forever of what could've happened to him. He had to pause to regroup before speaking again. "And none of the classic ballets have a romantic pas de deux for two men, so I had no hope of ever even getting to dance with him in class."

"I wanted to dance with him too." Ahiru looked down at the duck in her lap. "As me, not Princess Tutu. That was all I really wanted, though." She got a thoughtful frown on her face. "It's kinda funny… when I look back, I never thought about kissing him or anything like that… I always just thought about giving him his heart back so he could smile because he always looked so lonely to me, I only wanted to see him smile, and to dance with him, I never thought about kissing him… I realized that when I was first thinking about how I really really wanted to kiss _you_." She blushed. "It made me remember that, and I thought about how I wanted stuff from you that I'd never even considered having with him… did you ever think about kissing him, or did you just want to dance with him?"

"I… no. That is, dancing isn't all I wanted to do." His face burned at the memory. "I did want to kiss him. Yes. And I… the first wet dream I had, it was about him. At least, the first one I remember, because I woke up right after." He risked a glance at her. "It doesn't gross you out to hear that, does it?" He didn't think it would, especially at this stage of their relationship, but he wanted to make sure just in case.

"No." Ahiru shook her head. "Why would it? It's normal to have those, right? And since you were really attracted to him, it makes sense that you'd have one about him."

"I wish I could've thought about it that way back then." Fakir laughed mirthlessly. "I felt dirty and wrong, even though I knew rationally that it was just a dream and you can't control what your dreams are about. Maybe I was even angry at myself _because_ I couldn't control that." His gaze dropped back down to their joined hands. "I was so wrapped up in my own confusion and self-loathing, not to mention my fear and obsession with 'protecting' him, that I didn't even experience attraction to girls in the same way. I mean, I vaguely knew I liked girls too, not just guys, but it wasn't something I dwelled on. Partly because the only ones I really interacted with outside of ballet class were Rue and Raetsel, neither of whom I've ever been attracted to, and partly because I was also so accustomed to viewing the ones who fawned over Mytho with suspicion and mistrust. It didn't leave much room for thinking about that kind of thing, and so I didn't. That is, until…" He found himself almost wanting to smile at the memory. "One night… Uzura asked me if you were pretty."

"Wh-what?" Ahiru blushed. "She – she did? Before I met her, right?"

"Yeah." This time he did smile. "I was trying to get her to go to bed, so I tucked her in with this same duck, and started telling her a story about a real duck I had met, one that could turn into a magical ballerina, and was so brave, the bravest person I'd ever met." He laughed softly as Ahiru turned an even brighter shade of red. "She interrupted a lot, though, to ask questions, and one of them was if you were 'pretty zura', as she put it."

"Awww…" Ahiru felt a lump form in her throat as she remembered the distinctive way Uzura spoke. "Wh-what'd you tell her?"

"I didn't. I got flustered and babbled something I don't remember now, and then just moved on without answering her question. I couldn't bring myself to, mainly because I knew she'd probably meet you eventually, and what if she relayed what I said to you?"

Ahiru giggled, recalling how awkward he'd been around her back then. Even now he still got all blushy and silly about saying certain things out loud; it was adorable. "That sounds like you."

"Shut up." He was laughing, though, and it made her giggle again too. When they were done laughing he went on in a softer, more serious voice. "That was the first time I consciously thought about how beautiful you are… I must have laid awake at least half the night thinking about it. About you. About how attracted to you I was, which confirmed that I really am bi after all. I'd figured I was, but that night I knew for sure."

"Oh… oh, I…" It was Ahiru's turn to feel flustered, and she tried to gather her thoughts back up. Despite how much they'd done together by now, the idea of Fakir back then lying awake and thinking about how pretty he thought she was nevertheless made her feel all fluttery and warm inside. "F-for me it was different… I always knew I was like that, I had feelings for Mytho but when I'd look at Rue and Freya I'd feel really attracted to them too, cause they were so pretty and I knew I wasn't just recognizing that in them, it was definitely attraction."

"And you even got to dance with Rue."

"Y-yeah." Ahiru blushed again at the memory – it had been so embarrassing to dance in front of everyone like that – she'd been so terrible back then and couldn't understand why Rue had chosen her of all people. "I – I remember I really liked that… not cause I was attracted to her, dancing is different, you know? It was just… it was the first time I ever really enjoyed dancing. That's when I started to love ballet, I think, cause even being so nervous it was so fun, I really felt that joy for the first time in spite of being mortified about how bad I was in front of the whole class." She paused. "A-anyway, though, as I was gonna say, I always knew that's how I am, and it was only later that I learned there's actually a word for being like that, and that it's a big deal… but then, I was just a silly little duck."

"… No, it's… it's humans that are silly, for not being as kind and accepting as you are." Fakir squeezed her hand. "If more people were like you, the world would be a better place. And anyway you were always important, never 'just' a duck."

"Awwww, Fakir…" Ahiru blushed and smiled, and then set the duck down on the bed beside her so she could lean forward and kiss him. This time she heard him sigh as their lips met, and he slipped one arm around her to pull her closer, his other hand coming up to cup her cheek. That hand shook a little, and in the back of her mind she understood why, even as all other conscious thoughts fled while they kissed. They'd had conversations like this on other occasions after coming out to each other, and it always laid bare a more vulnerable side of Fakir, one that he only felt comfortable exposing to her. She knew she made him feel safe, and that was important to her. This was a part of himself he couldn't change, and she didn't want him to, because there was nothing wrong with it – with him – at all. She loved him so much, and seeing that vulnerable side of him made her feel even more protective of him than she already did.

His fingers slid into her hair, and she tilted her body more into his, wanting to be as close to him as she could. She still had her school uniform on, but the knowledge and sensation of his near-nakedness against her made her itch to take it off, to remove that barrier between them. Needing to feel more of him, she slipped one of her hands down to caress his chest, tracing her fingers over his bare skin and through the thin trails of soft, dark hair that led down to his stomach and below his hips. His heartbeat quickened beneath her palm, and he let out a muffled moan against her lips before pulling her down to lie beside him on the bed. The kiss was briefly broken off by that, but he wasted no time in pressing his mouth to hers again once they were settled in each other's arms.

"I wish we could do more than this," Fakir murmured when they paused again for air, his voice breathless and a little hoarse. "Sorry." If they were alone in the house, or if Charon was asleep at least, it would be different. But as it was it was too late in the day to rely on him staying busy in the forge, and they couldn't count on the rain drowning out the noise they made either. They always had to either wait till he was asleep and muffle themselves as best they could, or for precious moments when he was out on business and they had the house to themselves.

"You don't have to apologize, silly. It's okay." Ahiru closed her eyes and pressed her face into the crook of his neck. "I just like being close to you." His skin was so warm, and smelled so good, and she loved the feeling of his body against hers as he held her. "I mean, I enjoy all the things we do together now, and I wouldn't say no to doing it if we were alone, but I'm also really happy just being held like this. You know?"

"Yeah. I do know." Fakir closed his eyes too, and his hand came up to stroke her hair. One of the things he'd found himself aching to do most back when he first realized his attraction to her was to simply hold her close like this. By now he'd made love to her, multiple times, but it didn't in any way diminish the quiet joy of moments like these. Everything they shared was precious to him, no matter how big or small.

"Good." She kissed his neck, and heard him gasp. "Cause I don't want you to feel like stuff like this isn't good enough for me now that we've done it, cause it is."

"I know. Don't worry." He rubbed her back, and was silent for a moment before speaking again. "This… this is _better_. You know that, right?"

"What?" Ahiru lifted her head to look at him, her face drawing into a confused frown. "What do you mean? Better than what?"

"I – no, I mean… I didn't mean it like that, I wasn't talking about this being better than sex, though they're both good, I meant…" Fakir sighed. "When I said 'this' I was talking about us. This is _real_. I always know you mean it when you say you love me, and my feelings for you are… they're healthy. Good. They're not screwed up and twisted like the ones I had for Mytho were." He smoothed some of her hair away from her face, where bits of it had come out of her braid. "You don't have to worry about me wondering what might have been with him had he wanted me after all, because I don't, I'm too happy with what I have with you. I don't want him anymore and I haven't for a very long time."

"Oh, I know." Ahiru relaxed and smiled. "I don't worry about that. A-and it's the same with me, I hope you know that too… I'm happy for Rue and I'm happy with you and I wouldn't have wanted things to end up any other way, I think it's best for all of us. Although, um…" Her expression changed, and her voice became smaller. "I – I _have_ thought about… about what would've happened if he had chosen me instead of Rue, sorta. Cause… I know now that I loved you then, or I was getting there at the very least, but I didn't realize it at the time, and what if I'd gone off with the wrong person and…" Her voice caught and she shuddered. She'd had a dream once about being trapped in the book with someone she'd eventually realized she didn't love anymore, unable to get out and back to the person she _did_ love. When she'd woken up she'd cried and cried, feeling like her heart was breaking just from the idea of them being separated forever like that."It… it scares me to think about."

"… Don't be scared." Fakir stroked her cheek. "It didn't happen that way. You're here, with me." In all honesty he _had_ wondered, especially before they got together, if she might sometimes entertain wistful imaginings of being a princess instead of being stuck here, and he'd always felt he'd understand if she did. To hear that she was _frightened_ of that alternative outcome, that she'd rather be with him than with the prince she had become a girl and Princess Tutu for in the first place, to _that_ degree… well, it was a small miracle that his voice had come out normally just now, and as it was he didn't trust it to do so again for the time being.

"Good." Ahiru buried her face in his neck again. "Cause I don't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. You're too important to me." She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his skin, and then let it out. "I love you."

The tremble he heard in her voice was what did it; he had to swallow past the lump in his throat to speak, and when he did his own voice was hoarse and shaky. "I love you too."

"Fakir..." Ahiru snuggled closer to him, and reached up to stroke his hair. She could tell even without looking at him that there were tears in his eyes, happy ones, but tears nevertheless. Her eyes were brimming with them too, and as she let them out into his shoulder, she felt him do the same, heard him relax and allow himself this release, and for a few minutes they just cried quietly together.

"I'm so glad you're here," Fakir said, his voice still unsteady. He kissed the top of Ahiru's head. "I'm so lucky to have you with me like this. To know you at all."

"M-me too." Ahiru pulled back, and smiled as she wiped at his wet cheek. "You mean so much to me."

"There's no one else I…" He took a deep breath and let it out. "I've never been able to be so honest and open with anyone else. I didn't think I'd _want_ to open up to anyone, but now… now that I can, I… you've just been so good for me, in so many ways." He traced a finger down the side of her face and over her throat, making her shiver a little. "I can't tell you how much that means to me."

"It's okay, I know it does." Ahiru leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "And I'm glad. Cause you make me feel really safe and happy too, I feel like I can really be me around you without having to hide anything. I trust you so, so much." It had started with her entrusting the knowledge of her true form to him, along with temporary possession of the pendant that made that form change possible, and it continued into things like this.

"If I've done anything I can feel is good, then it's becoming the kind of person you feel comfortable trusting so much." Fakir stroked her hair again. "Because you deserve that." And so many other things besides.

"Awwww." Ahiru smiled. They shared another kiss, a soft and lingering one, and when they pulled apart she let out a little sigh. "Ugh, I just wanna stay here with you like this… but I still gotta shower and dinner's probably gonna be soon…"

"It's all right." He kissed her nose, and she giggled. "Go ahead and do what you need to. There's always later."

"That's true." She smiled at him, and gave him another quick peck on the lips before getting up. "I – I'll see you later, then!"

"Yeah."

After she left he stood up so that he could finally get dressed, and when that was done he settled himself into the chair at his desk. The rain showed no sign of ceasing, though it seemed like the lightning and thunder had stopped, at least; between the sound of the ongoing downpour and the feelings hanging over him from the things shared with Ahiru just now, he felt inspired to get back to a story he'd been working on for days now.

He was still at it some hours later when she came in for bed, having paused only to go eat dinner with her and Charon. He looked up as she came in, and frowned. "Sorry, I… I'm not ready to go to sleep yet. I'm almost finished with this, and I really want to get it done. Sorry."

"It's okay." Ahiru darted forward, smiling, and kissed him on the cheek. "I don't mind. I'll wait for you in bed, and I promise I'll be quiet."

"Thanks." He smiled and watched her bound off to their bed, and then returned his attention to the story. It took him a little longer than he'd thought, but not more than another hour, if that, and when he was done he set his pen down with a sigh of relief.

A soft chirp came from the direction of the bed, almost as an answer, and he turned to see that Ahiru was already asleep. It clicked that he'd been hearing those little chirps for a while now, but they hadn't disturbed him because he was so used to them; if anything, they seemed to help inspire him, and had ever since that time when she was still a duck. She'd had a habit back then of falling asleep on his desk while he wrote, or nearby, and the chirps she made in her sleep had relaxed him. Even as a human she still chirped in her sleep, and it was no less cute or calming.

Even cuter than that, though, was what he found when he actually walked over to the bed: she was curled up on her side under the covers, with his old duck plushie clutched to her chest. He couldn't help but smile, and watched her for a few minutes before turning out the light and climbing into bed beside her. He carefully slipped his arm around her to pull her a little closer, and she stirred, roused into a half-wakeful state. "Nnnn… Fakir…? S-sorry… I didn't mean to…" She yawned. "Fall asleep…"

"Idiot. You've got nothing to apologize for. Go back to sleep." He kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." Ahiru yawned again, and snuggled closer. "I – I'm glad I…" Another yawn. "I didn't wanna go to sleep without… without saying that."

"… I understand."

He kissed her forehead again, which produced a happy little sigh, and then closed his eyes. She was asleep again within minutes, and he was content to simply hold her in the dark and listen to her breathe until he too drifted off. Their last conscious thoughts before sleep that night were ones about how lucky they really were to have each other.


End file.
